


Self - Sabatoge (Modern AU)

by propertyofpoeandbucky



Series: Poe Dameron Oneshots [113]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of insecurities, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29636859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/propertyofpoeandbucky/pseuds/propertyofpoeandbucky
Summary: After seeing Poe interact with an ex, you think that maybe you and he aren’t meant to be.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Reader, Poe Dameron & You, Poe Dameron/Reader, Poe Dameron/You
Series: Poe Dameron Oneshots [113]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115642
Kudos: 2





	Self - Sabatoge (Modern AU)

What’re the coincidences? What are the coincidences that at this holiday work party, Poe would run into his ex, Zorii, the woman he told you he almost proposed to? 

As you stand on the other side of the restaurant, nursing a glass of wine, you think that maybe you need something stronger. 

Zorii is…beautiful. You think she’s a goddess as opposed to you. You thought you were decent looking, but Zorii? She could probably be Aphrodite herself. 

When you see Poe smile wide and laugh at something the woman says, your heart falls to the pit of your stomach. They look good together…really good together. And not only that, she probably didn’t have as much baggage as you did. There’s been too many times where Poe has had to help you through an anxiety attack or taken care of you during your depressive episodes. 

Poe deserves to be with someone who’s beautiful and doesn’t have so many issues…

You gulp down the rest of your wine and head outside. You pull out your phone and set up an uber to pick you up. Poe was your ride and you didn’t want him to leave the event early. 

Your uber arrives within fifteen minutes. As soon as your driver heads back out into the streets is when you text Poe

 **You:** not feeling well. left the party. don’t worry about me. 

As soon as the message sent, you placed your phone on your lap. Within seconds it starts ringing. You sigh and tap on accept, “Hello?”

“Babe, what’s going on?” One of the reasons why you fell for Poe was because he was so caring and always wanted to help others. But at this moment, you really wished he didn’t care so much. 

“I just wasn’t feeling well is all.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you hear the concern in his voice and it just makes you feel even more conflicted, “We could’ve left-”

“I didn’t want to cut your night short. I know it’s been a while since you’ve all been together and relaxed.”

“Y/N-”

“Really, Poe, it’s fine. I-I’ll talk to you later, okay?” you stutter and your voice cracks a bit because you’re trying hard not to cry. 

Poe sighs in defeat, “Alright, honey. You just tell me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe out and end the call. You let your tears fall freely then.

___________________

Poe doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand what happened. 

Ever since you abruptly left his holiday work party, his texts and phone calls have been left unread and unanswered. Did something happen to you? Did he do something wrong?

It isn’t until he checks in with your roommate, Rose, that you’re present and unharmed. But you’re “sad and mopey”, as stated by Rose, and she doesn’t know why because you won’t tell her anything other than, “just in a funk”. 

No matter how much he tries to get in touch with you, he’s left high and dry. So he finally takes it upon himself to head to your place, with Rose answering the door and letting him in. 

It’s your day off and, according to Rose, you haven’t left your room unless to get food or use the bathroom. 

With bated breath, Poe knocks on your door and calls out for you, “Y/N, honey, it’s me, you know, your boyfriend?” he presses his ear against the door and doesn’t hear any movement, but muffled dialogue from your tv, “Baby, can you tell me what’s wrong? Did I do something to hurt you because if I did, I’m sorry. I just-I’m worried about you, babe.”

He hears thudding on the other side of the door and he perks up a bit, hopeful that you’ll open the door to see him, but that’s not what happens. Instead the door remains closed and, despite the barrier, Poe hears very clear and distinct, “I want to break up.”

Poe’s chest suddenly feels heavy and he’s hoping he didn’t hear that right, “W-What?”

“I’m-I’m breaking up with you, Poe.”

He shakes his head in disbelief, “No,” he says sternly, “We’re not doing this. You’re not breaking up with me, especially if you can’t even look me in the eyes and say it.”

“Poe, please, don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

He steps closer, lips practically hovering over the door so you can hear him loud and clear, “I just-I don’t know what I did to-to hurt you or-or what, but whatever it is, Y/N, gimme a chance to at least try to fix it.”

“You can’t fi this, Poe. You can’t fix _me._ ” he hears you whimper and he just knows you’re crying. All he wants to do is break down this door and hold you in his arms, to comfort you. 

“Baby, what’re you talking about?”

“I’m not enough and I’ll never be enough. You deserve someone who’s enough for you.”

“Y/N, you’re more than enough for me.” He’s trying to figure out where all this was coming from. He’s well aware that sometimes this happens with you, but usually not without a trigger. It had to have been at the work party because you two were fine before then. Then he remembers: Zorii. 

“Is this about Zorii?” when he doesn’t hear a reply, he knows he’s got his answer, “Y/N, whatever you saw that night, Zorii and I are-honestly, we’re not even friends. Things ended poorly between us and sure, we seemed fine at the party, but that was after we apologized to each other.”

“You almost married her, Poe. And you two have history, you guys seem to fit well-”

“Trust me, Y/N, we don’t. Not anymore. You know who I fit well with? You.”

“But I’ve got so many issues-”

“And that’s okay. I’m happy to be there and deal with them with you.”

“…but you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t have to deal with them.”

Poe leans against the door sighing and running a hand through his black curls, “Can you please open the door?” After two beats of silence, your door unlocks with a click and slowly opens to reveal you tear-stained cheeks and snotty nose, “Oh, baby,” he says and pulls you into his arms. 

As soon as his arms wrap around you, the dam breaks and you’re sobbing hard, “I’m sorry! I’m-I’m sorry I’m such a mess!”

Poe holds onto you tight as you continue to cry, “Ssshhh, honey. It’s okay. It’s okay. No matter what, I love you, okay? I love you so fucking much. I need you in my life, you hear me? You’re everything to me, Y/N. I love you.” those three words that have yet been said, repeated over and over again in whispers and in-between comforting words. 

“There’s a reason why Zorii and I aren’t together anymore. We didn’t work out and weren’t truly happy. With you, I feel the happiest I’ve ever been. So enough of the self-sabotaging and thinking I deserve better. You’re all that I want, Y/N, for as long as you’ll have me.” 

You and Poe continue to stay like that until you’ve calmed down. Poe knows that these thoughts won’t go away at an instant, but he’s willing to help and ease your worries whenever they appear. Because he’s so in love with you and will do anything to keep his everything.


End file.
